Monday, 30 May 2011

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Darren, Sepp, Ratko and Footsie

And behold, I saw the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and their names were Darren, and Sepp, and Ratko, and Footsie.

Darren (son of Alex) did evil in the sight of the dwellers of the land. For verily he did deceive the tribe of Prestonia, and did lead them into the bowels of the region of the Championship. So great was their fall that they were captured by the wicked nation of Npower. And it came to pass that Darren did pledge allegiance to the empire of Peterborough, and did lead them into the verdant pastures of the Championship, yea even into the tents so recently vacated by the tribe of Prestonia. But the people of Prestonia did heap curses on Darren, for he had greatly offended them.

Riding upon a pale horse was Sepp, who did conjure up evil spirits against his adversaries in the kingdom of Fifa, and did lay false charges against those opposed to him. “The nation of Fifa is not in a crisis, only some difficulties,” spake Sepp unto the congregation. But Sepp’s iniquity was great, and he walked in the statutes of the heathen. And many arose in the land who spoke thus, saying, “Verily thy days are numbered.”

The rider of the third horse was Ratko. (Are not the evils of his reign in Bosnia written in the annals of history?) Ratko fled from the judges of the land, but verily a net was cast for his capture, and all the people of the land rejoiced. Yet mighty was his protestation that he was smitten with the botch of Egypt and would not withstand his delivery unto the judges of The Hague. But behold, a multitude did arise that did demand that he was delivered into the hands of the wise ones who could make measure of his iniquities.

But behold, I looked and saw the rider of the fourth horse, and his name was Footsie, and I was exceedingly afraid. Footsie did worship at the altar of Mammon, and did render himself impure through idolatry and worship of filthy lucre. Footsie departed from the path of equity and justice, and did increase the wealth in his treasury by 32% year on year even when his people were in the grip of famine. The stink of the evil deeds of Footsie arose unto the heavens. And mighty was the affliction of the people on the land of Footsie, and loud were their grumblings. Yet many of the tribe of HR were silent.

And it came to pass that I saw an angel who beckoned me, and said, “Fear not, for the time of the punishment of the riders is at hand. As it is written, “They shoot horses, don’t they?””

He that hath ears to hear, let him listen to the words of the blogger.

1 comment:

  1. But what, dear blogger, of the fifth horseman, he that is mentioned in the scriptures of Mcaloon. What of him? Only those of a LibDem persuasion, under the veil of parliamentary privilege, dare say his name.